I have not openly disliked a book as much as I did this one. It has taken me over a month to calm down my ire to be able to write this review. And even then, it’ll probably be brief.

Three Dark Crowns

Kendare Blake

Published 2016

Format: Hardback
Genre: Young Adult, Romance, Fantasy
Rating:  1.5/5 Moose

Synopsis

From Goodreads, because I can’t come up with one that isn’t just me screaming angrily:

When kingdom come, there will be one.

In every generation on the island of Fennbirn, a set of triplets is born—three queens, all equal heirs to the crown and each possessor of a coveted magic. Mirabella is a fierce elemental, able to spark hungry flames or vicious storms at the snap of her fingers. Katharine is a poisoner, one who can ingest the deadliest poisons without so much as a stomachache. Arsinoe, a naturalist, is said to have the ability to bloom the reddest rose and control the fiercest of lions.

But becoming the Queen Crowned isn’t solely a matter of royal birth. Each sister has to fight for it. And it’s not just a game of win or lose…it’s life or death. The night the sisters turn sixteen, the battle begins.

The last queen standing gets the crown.

Doesn’t it sound so fascinating? 

Characters

Katherine: The weak Poison princess

Arsinoe: The weak Naturalist princess

Mirabella: The strong Elemental princess

Jules: Arsinoe’s best friend (most of Arsinoe’s story is told from her point of view).

Rants, Raves and General Thoughts 

This. Book. Made. Me. So. Angry.

Part of me felt like it was a strategic marketing plan to get people to buy more books of this series, because everyone kept talking about how amazing the last 25% of the book is. And you know what? IT WASN’T WORTH IT. I wish had DNF’d this book when I first had the urge.

This book focused so much on the three princesses getting ready for their big 16th birthday party that would be the start of their battle for the throne, and on boys. What this book did not focus on was:

• Why did the three princesses have to battle it out for the throne?
• Why does two of the sisters have to die?
• Why does the mom die the moment the children are born?
  • Who rules the island while the princess/Queens are children/babies if their parents are gone?
• Where does the magic come from?
• Where is the girls’ dad?
• Why must the princesses be separate? Why do they hate each other?
• Why can’t they leave the island?
• What’s their relationship with the main land?

Seriously, so much of this book just didn’t make sense. It was boring and insufferable listening to the princesses whine. None of them were enjoyable, none of them worth rooting for. And SO MANY PEOPLE are anti-Joseph. Why? He never lied, he just thought he felt love until he found love. Did I miss a subplot where he did anything truly terrible?? Why all the hate for Joseph, yet none for the guy who betrayed Katherine?

And what the hell?! Katherine’s “training” was about her learning to flirt and steal suitors…because why? Because it makes it more YA to have her curled up in a guy’s lap kissing on him rather than learning to properly fight and protect herself?

I just cannot believe how insanely boring this book was. It would be one thing if it was exposition and political, but it was primarily whining, wandering around as they WAITED FOR THEIR BIRTHDAY PARTY. FOR 75% OF THE BOOK. I WAS PROMISED A BLOODY AND POLITICAL BOOK.

Final Verdict 

I won’t be reading the next book(s)past its synopsis(es). You cannot convince me that the second book will fill in all the holes and make this book where 320+ was wasted space seem worth it. This book was a representation of the things I actually dislike in YA books, and I’m still so angry.