My goal is to get this out on Fridays, but I wanted to see Detective Pikachu this Friday instead. So my review is a little late, and honestly is only coming out because the internets keep threatening to spoil me about this weeks episode. As always, there are spoilers below, as this is my internal monologue while watching the show. So don’t say you weren’t warned!

Also, let me get a few days before you start telling me someone dies, INTERNET.

Here are my weekly thoughts:

• Ah yes, we left with hipster’s girlfriend dead and a crime scene
• I am still convinced he did it. He’s too intense
• Hold on. HOLD ON.
  • HIS GIRLFRIEND ISN’T DEAD?
• Clive calling out the cheating lord
• “Cops do better with the ladies” and this dude’s mustache is too much
• Oh we’ve got the fuller opener!
  • It looks like it’s been updated a little, maybe? Or maybe I just haven’t seen it in so long. Primarily Blaine
• Bless Justin for protecting Major
  • Also Major showing the angry soldiers up
  • This reminds me of the Major I do like from season 1
  • (Heads up I may not be entirely team Liv + Major after my most recent re-watch)
• So Liv and Major are okay? Are they dating?
• Based on everything I’ve seen, Dance of a Lifetime is definitely next episode and I am EXCITED.
• “Chikrabati tumble”
• Peyton is still supposed to be under 30? Okaaaaay
• Mort and Zed are of course the city council left
• Kareem Abdul-Jabbar! AMAZING.
• “Swole-partner”
• “Think of it as a hot tub not a lap pool”
  • I too am a little creeped out every time Liv gives Ravi sex advice
• Real talk: I would watch an entire tv show/web show of Clive and Ravi and crew playing D&D.
• Especially with impatient Clive as DM
• “My cousin in Ohio thinks I turned Zombie for attention”
  • “Didn’t he turn vampire for a girl”
• Oh god Clive/Ravi cup tap heart eyes heart eyes
• IMPATIENT CLIVE WINS AS DM
• Oh god who is killing zombies
• DON’T OH GOD NOT JORDAN
  • Both of Major’s kids are dead I can’t
• Oh god I cannot handle Major breaking down
  • Fuck all you soldiers
  • Yeah fuck you guys
  • God damn Major I take back every mean thought I’ve had against you I AM SO SORRY
• Okay, I get that it’s zombies vs humans and we are suppose to support team Z but are there this many southern redneck looking dudes in Seattle?
• Okay, not going to lie, I am convinced that these humans are getting killed by humans.
  • That being said, I’m also convinced the first person didn’t actually die
• I love that they’re making fun of the use of whiteface
• HI, ZOMBIE
  • HI. ZOMBIE.
  • HIIIIII ZOMBIE hahaha
• UGH this woman I cannot
• Man, we are really leaning into this making fun of the current political climate, no?
  • Oh god don’t kill the human child
  • OH NO DON’T KILL WEEVIL
  • OH GOD THEY BROUGHT HIM BACK JUST TO KILL HIM
• Okay, so no woman is dead. Which means, no dead woman.
• I am liking when Liv is on a brain
• Clive is my favorite
• Also, 100% called the fake victim
  • Fucking fake news murders ugh
• “Chase Graves is my commander” good god
  • Poor Major.
• Dead-enders ugh
  • Although catching the people was quick
  • Both videos were faked got it
• God Ravi taking Liv’s sex advice god
• HI ZOMBIE IS GETTING MADE
• I love how much Peyton and Liv and Major are doing for the city
• I just realized that fake zombie actress was totally the madame in an episode of Veronica Mars always fun to figure out

Overall, episode 2 was definitely more action than episode 1, but the political metaphors are going to make me incredibly anxious. I am in for a long season, for sure. I kind of need them to pick a metaphor and stop trying to represent all marginalized groups — something about it rubs me the wrong way. Especially the term “whiteface.” The show definitely benefits more when Liv is on brains. I love Hi, Zombie as an idea, and am excited to see where Ravi and Jimmy take their meta show.

Things I want answered/to happen:

• Clive and Bossio to name their kid after Liv
• A resolution on Liv and Major, as long as they’re at peace with each other. Right now it seems they’re friends, and that’s totally cool
• Peyton and Ravi to get engaged
• I don’t honestly think there is going to be a cure, so some resolution with the rest of the country.
• More of the new doctor friend in Atlanta
• Justin to be in a safe bubble DO NOT KILL OFF JUSTIN.